A clean slate

The new year started out with tons of energy. I was on vacation here in Germany for a couple of days mainly to focus on studying and my mental health. I also wanted to recharge my batteries a bit because the past year has been really tough. But then as I got home all of my newly found energy was drained to who knows where and for the past 10 days I’ve been struggling to do anything besides watching Netflix or TV all day. I did do sports but not as much as I would have liked and not enough to get my motivation back. I really enjoyed all the football practices, I enjoyed going to cheer and I definitely enjoyed biking with the kids. Yet somehow I’m still struggling.

I think what bothers me most right now is that I’m proving everybody right that has told me in the past that I’m doing too much and I should be focusing on one thing at a time. I always had to justify why I do what I do and as the old year was beginning to fade away one quote really stuck with me:

Pretend there is a documentary crew filming your success story and they are following you around right now.

What would you do?

What would you do if you knew there was a crew following you around with cameras documenting your future incredible success?And they want to catch you in the act of it all. You’d do all the right things…

What would you be doing different?

Coach Bold

So I wondered – what would I be doing different? I’m sure I would do my very best to be able to look back at it later and be proud of what I have achieved, how I got my sh*t together and became the person I want to be (Without losing who I am I might add..). So come January 1st I picked up my camera again and I made a plan. I made a plan to film my life this year, not in the vlog-style I did the past years but in a cross between vlog and documentary in a documentary style kind of way.

And then I got home and found myself without any energy whatsoever.

Having talked to friends that have found themselves in similar situations due to very different circumstances and reasons, I had a sudden urge today to change that. I’ve been wanting to change things for so long and the accumulation of disasters just always made it really difficult to start. But I don’t want to justify myself in front of coaches, friends, teammates or my family because I do what I do. I want to show everyone that it’s not about why (though that is indeed a very valid question) but Why Not?

Why Not has always been the question I liked to ask because it shows that you are not limited to anything as long as you believe that you can do it. So deleting every old blog-post I made on this page and reinventing myself new once again, I am starting -again- with a clean slate. Sort of.

One thing I learned while I was recharging my batteries is, that I really need to focus on myself this year. And I am certain that every day, every hour, every minute we get handed a new chance.

So let’s make this year the best I ever had, let’s make this my year!

M.

found this beautiful piece of earth on one of my bike trips throughout the Black Forest

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