How to *Not* Care

As a wonderful mentor has pointed out to me in the beginning of the year, I need to stop people pleasing and act my age, not letting people push me around.

Hi, I’m Maggy, I am 24 years old and I am a people pleaser. I care about others, especially those who have become so important to me and I want them to feel good, I want their best. I do everything I can but eventually I get dropped like a hot dish when Beyonce walks into a room. I want to save everyone but I had to learn it so many times that I can’t help everyone because not everyone wants to be saved. And then I had to learn it again. And again. And again. You get my drift?

I wish I could though because it used to physically hurt me whenever someone moved on and dropped me. It didn’t matter if it was a friendship, a colleague or just someone I felt close to. Or maybe I was sabotaging myself when I wasn’t there for a second and got replaced because I looked after myself for a heartbeat. I am gradually learning, that the people that matter don’t want to be saved, they can save themselves. It may not sound like a good friendship but if everyone looks out for themselves, it is easier to look out for one another. Or maybe it just makes more sense in my head.

I’Ve recently read this book: The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k and it did indeed changed my life. My balance of Fs I give is much healthier than it used to be. Of course it’s not ideal yet, but I believe it is a work in progress. I still care about a lot of things and of course I can’t just walk through life and say “I don’t give a shit about anything but me”. But I am actively thinking about what and most importantly whom I care about. I carefully select things that are important to me and I am even more careful nowadays when it comes to myself. In order to not just be successful but a better version of myself than yesterdays and to have value, I need to be selfish. Which doesn’t mean I’m ignorant or think I’m better than everyone else. I just look out for myself better than I used to which gives me better self-confidence to be the person I want to be. I still care, but I choose the things and the people I care about and I am on my way to let my confidence and my actions speak for themselves and not to rely on people pleasing.

I am Maggy, I’m a strong 24 year old woman who is becoming the person she wants to be and is protective of the things she cares about.

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