It has been very quiet around here lately, partly due to an increasing work load and due to weekends filled with sports and tournaments and competitions and also days of coaching kids and spending time with family and friends.
I’ve been pretty absent in the Internetz altogether – not counting Insta-Stories 😉 – but I guess I needed the time to just calm down and find my middle again. A couple of mayor things for me personally have happened which have put me through some difficult decision making and changes. Unfortunately I am not the best one to deal with such changes so I guess the time out was not the worst of ideas. Meanwhile I did two sprint distances, my very first Olympic distance and two cycling races. I played three Lacrosse tournaments and got back into my training rhythm.
Some days are better than others lately and all that is left for me is to hope that I can adapt to those major changes and reevaluate what part I am playing, who I am and where I want to go from there along the way. Focusing more on Social Media is something that brings back the joy of being creative and sharing my life for my future self. But it is not just my social media presence I want to reinvent, it is how I view myself as a friend, a family member, a coach and an athlete. I want to be tacken seriously and for that I need to make some changes. It is not just me I have to think about now. A lot of kids depend on me and my advice. Some days it is a burden I will happily take because those kids give back so much more than I can give. But some days I feel like it is all too much and I struggle to maintain a good facade when behind there is turmoil and helplessness and the ever rising question of – am I good enough?
The answer is yet unknown to me but I hope I will find it one of these days. For the time being I want and I need to focus more on where I am and where I want to go and not so much on others, because if I don’t know where what and when, how are others supposed to and how am I supposed to help others?
I don’t know how many times I’ve reinvented myself or tried to reevaluate but I guess that is exactly what growing up means – getting to know yourself and finding out what kind of person you want to be and how to achieve it. I’m going to take you guys along the ride if you want to and if anything, this blog helps others with the same struggles. No pressure there, right?
I’m gonna go clean my rooms now, because for a fresh start and a tidy mind, one needs a tidy environment. Plus my washing is waaaaaay overdue…
Don’t wait for a Monday or a new Month to start. Start on a Thursday or whenever you want to. The day doesn’t matter, the action does.