Monday Motivation #1

Monday. New day, new week, new chance to start all over.

Here’s my first ever weekly sports schedule for you guys to keep myself motivated and to maybe help motivate others to start with a regular sport workout.

Calendar Week 48 – 27th Nov – 3rd December

Focus: Bike

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As you can see, a lot of Intervalls this week and quite a bike focus – as intended. Since it is currently raining cats and dogs the past couple of days I chose not to bike outside and instead use the TACX trainier from my mom in front to the TV or much rather with my workout playlist.

Here are a couple of songs I like to listen to when I’m doing sports:

  • Wolves – Selena Gomez ft Marshmallow
  • Whatever it takes – Imagine Dragons
  • Glorious – Macklemore ft Skylar Grey
  • Rockstar – Post Malone ft 21 Savage
  • Phases (Autograph Remix) – ALMA ft French Montana
  • Blem – Drake
  • KMT -Drake ft Giggs
  • Skybar – Joelina Drews
  • The beautiful and damned – G-Eazy ft Zoe Nash
  • Awful things – Lil Peep ft Lil Tracy
  • Butterfly Effect – Travis Scott
  • Rollin’ like a stoner – Vic Mensa
  • In the End – Linkin Park
  • Worth it – 5th Harmony
  • New Rules – Due Lipa

Here – but not really

I thought studying in Mainz and Living at home would be the easiest solution. I never would have figured that I would be involved in student life so soon – mainly with the LAX team of course. But nonetheless I spend so much time on trains or waiting for the latter it makes me sick. Like literally sick because I don’t get enough sleep plus I have to leave early in the morning which is alright as long as I am just studying Journalism but next year I will have twice the workload with the additional Sport and Sportscience lectures and seminars.

So right now I’m wondering if it wouldn’t be better for my physical as well as my mental health if I either do my drivers licence and get a car as soon as possible or if I try to look for a small room in a shared flat for 3-4 times a week, after practice and maybe before Game days as well. I don’t want to rely on the German Train system because if I do – I am loosing for sure.  I feel like it’s time to evolve but I’m not sure how it is supposed to work.

I mean don’t get me wrong – I’ve been living on my own for 3 years before but it is just really complicated to support myself. And I love my home and the way I made it my own. I’m not moving out, so I would just basically be living out of a suitcase and I don’t know if I would be fine with that. Yet I find myself craving for my own place again – maybe because everyone around me has their own flat, or room at least, and I miss the independence and maybe because I love inviting people over and I can’t do that at home because it is so far away.

Today I applied to 5 different shared flats and I looked up the next one-week drivers licence class for December. I’m trying to keep doors open or rather open them in the first place. I need to figure out a way and I think however it works out as long as it does, I’m fine with it.


Two months ago I would have never thought that I would want to spend so much time here and that I would find a team as awesome as the Musketeers. I feel so much welcomed by each and everyone on the team and so very much supported! And I am really really happy about the close friendship I have with Leo. We’ve been sort of friends before at the musical school and it is amazing how much has changed in both our lives in the one year we barely had contact, yet we instantly connected again! I am really thankful I can talk to her and study with her. She is really precious and I am glad we reconnected thanks to University!

With everything that is going on at the moment and loads of secret projects I can’t yet tell you about I shouldn’t forget that I still am first and foremost a student, so I’m gonna pack up and head to my seminar now.




Student struggles

What happens when two friends sit in a otherwise silent library – one trying to study ridiculously complicated chemistry the other trying to write on her current book project?

Probably not much productiveness… And this is not a punch line cos this is not a joke.

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But it’s not entirely true either. I can only speak for myself but I actually accomplish more with Leo studying beside me than I would sitting alone. Probably because she is so focused and ambitious and I just try not to distract her. Though the occasional laugh, snapchat and just general conversation about anything and everything helps to refocus again on the task on hand. It is the silent knowledge of someone being there with you going through the same dilemma of trying to push through and this really helps staying concentrated.


Plus the Chemistry Library has a way nicer view than the Central Library has! It is such a different atmosphere and I rather enjoy working here. The productiveness level is turned up and so I’ll better get back to writing before my mind wanders off again to other stupid stuff that’s been bugging me lately and getting the best of me.

Another struggle lately seems to be that you only see daylight when you’re switching buildings between classes and lectures because I at least leave in the morning around 6ish and only get home after practice which would be around 11ish. Tough today was a really nice day with a lot of autumnal sunshine and rather warm 13 degrees Celsius accompanied by really nice music.

Todays Top-5 Playlist-Songs:

  1. Candy Paint – Post Malone
  2. The Beautiful & Damned – G-Eazy, Zoe Nash
  3. My Shit – A boogie Wit da Hoodie
  4. iSpy – KYLE ft. Lil Yachty
  5. Feelings – Hayley Kiyoko

From idea to written story

My writing process

I’ve talked about ideas coming into my head on a regular basis. Now I thought I might describe my process of writing a bit more. Enjoy 🙂

So usually I start with doodling and jotting down ideas on paper as they come to me. It all looks messy and unorganised – sometimes it’s just names even. After I have played with the basic plot line a bit and established WHO is going WHERE with WHOM and WHY I start with Personal Files as I like to call them. Every Character that plays a bigger role and reappears throughout the story gets one of these sheets with not just their personal information but also kind of their life’s story. I try to make them as humanly as possible and for that I give them character trades – the good ones as well as the bad ones.

Sometimes, if family is involved, I draw out Family Trees or Draw Character Constellations – usually on a sheet of paper. For organisational purposes I scan everything I’ve jotted down and save it in a folder. (Let me know if you want to know more about my filing system in the comments.)

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Starting with a blank page often is very hard so I try a technique that is called Freeflow. I just start writing random things that come to my mind and got to do with the book and most of the time that develops into a plot line. I reedit quite a lot, daily at the moment but I save the edited version as a copy with the day tag. I just like to be able to look at older versions of the story.

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My plot is a different document than the actual book with which I usually start when I’ve got the outline of the first chapter in my mind. The second chapter for me personally is much harder than the first and the one that gets reedited more than a few times. Probably because I established a style in the first chapter and need to figure out how to transfer it.

In the picture above you can clearly see that the Name for my current project was established within the first two weeks (though the idea for the book was in my mind for over 3 months until I started with the actual book). And it only happened because I decided to go another way and focus my storyline on different things than I intended with my first draft.

When you’re writing you have to be able to make compromises as you go along. Not everything is going to work out as you planned it in the first place. It took me a while to accept it but the sooner you do, the better your writing will get.

From this point on (assuming you have already developed and edited a reasonable plot) it is basically just you and the computer writing down chapter after chapter, editing, reediting and deleting.

If you have any questions feel free to contact me.



Motivation #1

Motivation #1

I am afraid to fail. I am afraid to fail in every aspect of my life. As an athlete you strive for success and learn to work hard for it from a very early age on. But what if it’s not enough? What if the voices that hunt you day and night are right? What if you’ve reached your limit and from now it is only down?  Is that really all you got? Everything you have worked for in your whole life that lead to where you are in this very moment and now you just want to give up?

No! You fight for it. You get your gear in action and you MOVE FORWARD! You’ll work twice as hard as everyone else and as you did before. You’re gonna climb every hill, every mountain, every range there is. You’re gonna swim through every torrent stream, run through every violent fire and when you’re done you’re gonna do it all over again. Because what you think you can achieve and what you actually can achieve are two different cups of tea!

When you feel at your worst, suck it in, buckle up, and let it go in one big scream as it initiates a new beginning. When you’re down there is only one way up! And I promise you there will be downs. Hell of a lot of them. But every time you climb up and make your way out of the hole someone threw you in, you get stronger. Braver. Tougher. And suddenly the holes don’t seem so deep anymore and you start to realise that you are finally flying!

All burdens will lift off your shoulder and at first you will start spinning, rotating towards the sky, blissfully unaware of the high that is to come. You will find strength in your achievements once you realise how much you accomplished through persistence and you will fly steady when the utter realisation hits you that all the pain, all the setbacks, all the struggle, the aches, the falls – everything was worth it! And you can push yourself beyond the limitations you set yourself, beyond what everyone expects you to be limited to. You are limitless!

Once you understand that, there is nothing you can’t do. Can’t won’t exist anymore. From now on it is “I CAN” and “I WILL”. End of story.

You are only afraid to fail because nobody told you that no matter how many times you fall, as long as you keep going you can do whatever you want to. But it won’t come to you just because you ask for it. You will have to keep pushing yourself and stop worrying.

Because I am telling you: Don’t be afraid to fail! Failure is life’s natural selection process of moving forward and as long as you don’t stop you will never be able to fail truly! You will be flying, soaring in the sky, limitless and free to be. So go out there and no matter how many times it may take – you WILL be up there one day. I promise! Don’t give up and don’t be afraid to fail!

Inspired by three of my teammates (Marlene, Caro and Jara). Thank you for helping me to push myself and for motivating me to keep going. Thank you for being absolute role models and wonderful people to reach out to! I owe you guys big time!

Screaming ideas

On days like today – when Ideas keep buzzing into your head like a class of screaming children – you feel as though 24 hours are not enough. I can’t sleep cos every time I try to think of something to dream me to sleep, my thoughts drift off to some idea for a youtube video or a new chapter I want to write, a plot twist or lyrics to a song I need to write RIGHT NOW!

But sleep is overrated is it?

I mean there are so many ways to be creative. First and foremost this blog that -right now- is a perfect way to “practice” writing on a daily basis. But considering I want to put myself out there not for the sake of being a public figure/influencer or whatever you want to call it but rather for sharing my creativity with others and inspiring them to follow their own path of creativity, writing a blog and doing nothing else Social Media wise would be a waste of time – probably.

But balancing Twitter, Instagram, YouTube and a Blog with daily life takes some time getting used to – even more so when you are writing books apart from that. But I am getting used to it. Since I dropped almost all of my English Classes starting this week (cos I don’t get credits for my degree and it is boring as hell) I am trying to arrange a regular Social Media Schedule – which I meant to be doing for quite a while now – to maintain a posting schedule and get used to regular uploads. Maybe it will help me balance the workload I put on myself all the time and transport me to a point where I am a reliable and most of all more organised person in hindsight of Social Media Presence.

I would love to follow every single Idea that comes to my mind but for now I need to learn how to hold back some until I build a bit of a Profile and focus on the things I want to achieve right now. Which is posting on this Blog on a regular basis.

Dividing my Big Goal into small steps helped me on so many levels and for the first time I’m starting to feel that I might someday get on top of it.


But now I need to get off this train and see my lovely Pekka Button and my Auntie <3. Family and Friends ALWAYS take priority – sorry guys.

Another day in Paradise

Today was hell. But only the part were I studied and prepared a big presentation for 6 hours straight with only bathroom breaks and one quick KitKat delight.

Other than that I feel very blessed!

I am surrounded by friends, family and an awesome Lacrosse Team who make me laugh and run and motivate me until I am lying on the floor breathless and red as a tomato but content within myself more than I had been for quite a while. I finally feel inspired to write again on a daily basis and to do better with my studies. My body feels better than it has the last 6 months due to regular exercise and healthier food. I am gaining discipline and focus while at the same time I am having more fun and laughs with people I enjoy being surrounded by.

I was always working on becoming a better version of myself but since I am studying it is actually working for maybe the first time in quite a while. I feel like I found quite a good balance between studying, working, writing, being creative and exercising and not to forget having fun nights out with people I am proud to call my friends and inspirations. Spending so much time with them it makes me want to scream of happiness and strive to be a better human, a better player, a better me.

For two weeks now I am eating regularly and healthy (with the exception of the study related sugar-needing KitKat break of course). Drinking mostly water or sugar free tea and the much needed coffee in the morning (without sugar or milk) my body started to clean itself of bad stuff. I try to drink up to 3 litres a day of plain water to hydrate and stay clear minded. My sleeping pattern is much more regular now and even though I sometimes have only 6 hours of sleep I feel well rested and ready for a new day in the morning.

Now I just need to learn to give my body a break from time to time and slowly accustom it to more exercise and tougher practices. But you know me – I am a stubborn idiot who is way to ambitious to listen so I will probably fall a couple of times more before I finally listen to what Marlene, Caro and Jara are saying: Give it time and it will come to you.

But for now I am contend within myself cos todays practice was awesome!